Sometimes I Dream of Snow

Lily soft drops of ice coat the world
on the television screen
I creep around the wounded bear
to see
mindful of the cadence of breath

There, white and clean
it waits
children will play in it later
when plows are gone
It’s their bright voices that wake him
He grunts as the bottle drops
to roll on carpet
The eyes find me
the slow smile
makes my body shake

He slaps his thigh and I obey
crawl up as the hands crawl
everywhere
I stare at the snow
watch it fall
wince when it happens again
Shriek of children
they make a sound
like nothing I’ve ever heard
They sound free
unfettered
spinning down like snow
untouched

I try not to cry out
try not to listen
to the grunts
ignore the rancid breath
block out the burn
I become the snow
cold, frozen, waiting
for the fall to end

The children are dancing
snow falls stronger
hissing down
hiss of breath at my ear
it is over

I close my eyes as he stills
climb down when told
He works the remote
and the children are gone

I sit at the window
touch the cold glass
but outside the world is green
I close my eyes, recall the snow
and wait for the children
to dance

~ ~ ~

© W.R.R. 6/27/2012
For all survivors of any form of rape or abuse; you are not alone. Speak out. Find your path to healing.

http://www.asashesscatter.com
wrr@asashesscatter.com
@AsAshesScatter
@RagMan_RIP

About W.R.R.

Bipolar & survivor of incest/child sex abuse; bisexual, poet/writer/advocate & father of four. View all posts by W.R.R.

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